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The little devil has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant." Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the bartender."It's not," said the man. "The little bastard stuck a pin in all my condoms."This one is compliments of BobLife's Demerit System ... In the world of romance, one single rule applies:MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!Do something she likes, and you get points.Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects.Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:SIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed. (+1)You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)But return with Beer. (-5)PROTECTIVE DUTIESYou check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)You pummel it. To complicate matters, her teenaged daughter Christy came home for the holidays completely unaware of her mother’s sudden obsession with canine fun and games.The poor girl was overwhelmed with the large dogs sniffing her box repeatedly and her mother just laughing and telling her it was their way of welcoming her back to the family.The simple truth was that Christy was frustrated with her continuing virginity despite her constant signals of availability that she had sent out to the entire male student body at her boarding school of co-educational tutoring. It seemed to her that every girl in the school had at least one boyfriend to spoon her ass at night in the dorm rooms whilst her bed remained her solitary retreat for solo humping under the covers during nocturnal hours.“Mom, doesn’t it bother you to have that huge dog lick your lap like that? That great big tongue looks like it is a dangerous weapon and it is so wet.”Her mother wrapped a towel around her sweating neck all perspired.
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